New Workout Trend Alert!

I came up with a new cardio workout today. It was accidental, but I find that's when strokes of genius are most likely to hit a person, wouldn't you agree?

Anyway, so I went down to the fitness center at school with my ponytail, leggings, and iPod. The beginning of this trend was the iPod, I must admit. The second ingredient was the emptiness of the fitness center. I was all alone! Perfect. So, I cranked my music and got on the elliptical. Kelly Clarkson started scream-singing,"SINCE U BEEN GOOO-OOOON," and THAT'S when the great idea hit me. You see, KC's tunes are pretty much rockin, and when I have headphones in, I can sing along and pretty much sound exactly like her (some people disagree. Okay, most.).

It's really, really hard to hear a song you like and NOT sing along, right? So, I kept ellipticaling (what would that verb be, I wonder), and started singing! What do you know? My cardio workout got harder. Granted, I started ellipticalling slower, but this gave me an idea! If all people tried to sing while they were running, biking, or stairmastering, they could intensify their workouts! I sang louder. By now, the high notes were getting harder to hit, but I made up for it with my facials. I was really givin' it to the audience: "I can breee-athe for the fiirrrr-st time," (when in actuality I could hardly breathe at all, but whatever). My eyebrows were down, my eyes squinting, I had a kissy-face, and I even brought the right hand away from the handle bar so I could use the mic. By this time, I'm sure my heartrate was a good 180, and I was getting to the really loud part where she goes, "again, again, and uh-GAAAIIIIIIN!" which was the precise moment a teacher (or fan) walked in. I barely saved myself from falling backward and cracking my skull (or injuring my vocal chords) because I was so scared out of my live, on-stage cardio workout moment, and it therefore took a minute to register the strange look I was getting from my colleague. (Who will remain nameless. I don't want to embarass her for her natural desire to lurk around so she could hear my siren's song.)

Anyway, I totally played it off and acted like she was the weird one. I'm pretty sure it worked.

So, the moral of the story is that you should not let my dediation in finding a good workout strategy go to waste. Next time you're working out, go ahead and try belting a few lines from your favorite pop star's album. You'll be surprised at the burn in your abs and the sudden desolation of the gym.

P.S.) This was also my perfect Crime Scene (for Criminal Minds) of the Day! I was so into the moment I wouldn't have heard a creepo sneak up behind me. And then Agent Morgan would have been forced to solve my case instead of hear me sing. Tragic. But a good setting, for sure.

P.S. Again) Unfortunately, there are no photos or video to accompany this amazing event, but there's always tomorrow!

Setting for Criminal Minds

I'm going to try something new. For those of you who don't know, I am recently obsessed with Criminal Minds. (The plot lines! The serial killers! The suspense!) Shonn and I stumbled upon it quite accidently, and have since begun to DVR as many epidsodes as possible. This obsession has begun creeping into all areas of my life. Take, for example, the other night when I was driving home. I saw a van on the side of the road with a flat tire. My immediate assumption: "A kidnapper trying to convince someone to pull over so he can snatch that person up and take her to a secret torture chamber!" This was all in the .3 seconds it took for me to accelerate and whiz by them, which was then followed by the guilt of not helping a fellow human. I've also found myself dreaming about the cast (not that way, even though Morgan is pretty hot ) and inserting myself into cases, where I use my powerful profiling skills to Save! The! Day!

This obsession has also created a new sense of creativity: I'm now viewing the world through the lens of the show's creators, looking for the next best spot for them to write a crime! That has led me to introduce:

The Best Crime Scene (for Criminal Minds) of the Day!

Exhibit A:

I love TJ Maxx. Shonn hates it. But, it was my birthday weekend, so we got to go. While he ho-hummed around, I was hunting for bargains and that led me to notice all the creepy places in that store. Now some TJ Maxxes are nice. The one in Decatur, not so much. Staffed by creepos and a little dirty in the corners, I started thinking Criminal Mindslike, and I found the perfect crime scene for their next season. The bathroom in the Decatur TJ Maxx store. Check it out. SCARE-YYYYYYY! Can't you just picture Hotchner and Dr. Reed kicking down the door and then examining the evidence in there?!

Don't you agree??