Tough Day...

My friend Jenn and I were talking about how things like facebook and blogs make it seem like everyone's lives are perfect. Who posts negative stuff, after all? It's like people use the internet as a way to project perfection...and that can easily cause a case of comparison that leaves you feeling bad about your oh-so-normal life. I have a wonderful, beautiful life, but it isn't perfect. And sometimes, it's downright hard. Today's post is about that reality. Don't get me wrong - I have NOTHING to complain about - I am blessed. Ironically, today was hard for that exact reason. My little slice of perfection was at home while I was gone for registration. I have a great job and I love the people who work there, but it is very, very hard to leave my little man. I want to bundle him up and take him with me.

I am trying so hard to learn and master the balance that life requires, but I find myself constantly feeling guilty: Guilty for not spending the same amount of time at work, guilty for being away from Beckett all day, guilty for not giving enough time to Shonn, guilty for not having dinner made every night or laundry folded and put away. It feels impossible to do all those things, but that acknowledged impossibility doesn't lessen my feelings of guilt. My friend Krista says that all moms feel it to some extent and that it's just about doing the best you can... Luckily, the best I can is readily accepted by the people around me. I'm supported at home by a wonderful husband who helps out and two sets of parents who want to do whatever they can for us. I'm equally lucky to work with people who appreciate my contributions and value family while understanding priorities.

That being said, I have a feeling this year is going to be about learning and adjusting to do the best I can in this perfectly imperfect life. And along the way, I'll continue to be thankful for the amazing blessings I've been given, starting with the one that is snuggled up in my lap, snoring contentedly.

Now I think I'll go post a picture of this perfect moment on facebook.